Can't get to sleep so decide to post.

I noticed I recently have been a part of the world that suffers from everyday situations. I don't know what had gotten into me, but I just know that I'm still the same old person.

I miss her. I'm here and she's ten thousand miles away from me. If only I could tell her face to face that I like her, but neither do I have the guts to do it. What I fear most is really coming to me. The fear of being lonely and the fear of losing people I love is really a depressing issue I really need to deal with.

What is done is done, there is no turning back. Only thing I can do now is to hope for the future and forget the past.

Some say I'm an idiot, being a great person is not about having the biggest heart, to me being a great person is being who I really am. People look up to me, people find me to be a motivation to them, yet some flaws of me are hated by others.

What really matters in the end is I do enjoy being a person that make other people happy and keep them happy always. That's me.

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Is it better to be feared or respected? I say "Is a bit too much to ask for both?"

-Tony Stark, Iron Man

To me it's the thoughts that counts!

Had a roaring day doing my duties for the nation. Whole uniform was full of my sweat! Ha ha.

Enjoyed the fireworks and the Air Shows! Oh, can't forget the Red Lions too.

The day started off with me waking up with a fresh face, full of energy to go and fulfill my duties, eventually I was there before I knew it. Was out in the sun for at least three hours, damn I'm darker than black already! Ha ha. I saw my secondary schools teacher, Mr Seow. Chat with him for sometime, well it really bring back memories of me being in NPCC. Ha ha.

Well I'm kinda happy that throughout these 45 years, Singapore had strive hard to become what she is today. We have to thank out forefathers like our Minister Mentor, Mr Lee Kuan Yew. Without him, Singapore would not be what we see today. Although we have achieved so much, yet Singapore has never gave up on developing more, this little red dot has made it's mark on the world map and everybody knows Singapore is a great city and a place to call home.

Headed back home after my duties, met up with my sister at Yew Tee MRT, bought some drinks and headed home, need to wake up early to help with my dad's work tomorrow. Whew, busy week I should say. Ha ha.

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Wish she was here with me watching the fireworks!

Happy 45th Birthday Singapore!

Here we are again, having a nice night for a nice new blog entry straight after book out.

So NDP is coming soon, kinda looking forward to my duties. Love it when it comes to this day as everyone of us Singaporean recognize our achievement we have and the pride of our motherland. Even friends who are overseas like my good friend Joyce, she's celebrating it over at Australia. Although the grass may be greener on the other side but we know where we truly belong.

Even though I've lost something dear to me, I've gain more new ideas and freedom to work with. People asked me if i hated her? Yes I do, I'm kinda pissed off when people misunderstand my intentions and chose to start a stupid war with me. I'm never really a good guy in the first place, well who is? Ha ha.

I've been thinking a lot lately, should i continue to search for my cup of tea? Well I've already found one, and things are going smooth between me and her. I'll not repeat the same mistakes as what I've used to commit. This time round I'll definitely cherish her whole heartedly and love as if my life depends on it.

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NDP is like a stone throw away, my wish for Singapore is to make sure she has the best kick boxers in the world.

I'm interested in her but I wonder how she feels about me? Oh God give me a sign man!

I had my BTT today!

Was nervous at first but hey guess what? I passed. Wow I'm such a good shit after all. Hahaz.

Lots has happened ever since my last post. Been pretty busy keeping myself busy. Hahaz.

Feel that I could have achieved more in my life by being a responsible person but hey nobody gives a shit about second chance! I mean come on, I think everyone deserves one. I'm planning to ill treat these people who don't give second chances!

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One step closer to my BTT!

To hate or to love?

Aww. Somebody asked me to update my blog a bit and so here I am.

Yes yes I know, my blog is rotting away badly and it's June already! Hahaz. Well guess I was too Lazy huh?

Anyway some updates in life, found a new love. Compared to you-know-who for crying out loud. Hahaz. Well some people just wanna bastard me. I shall not reveal the name but I can tell what went wrong actually.

Well the story goes like this:

I was hanging out with Antonio drinking bubble tea under a void deck (don't ask me what flavour was it), I suddenly thought of my Basic Theory Test that is gonna come in weeks time and on that day I'm having a important duty, so I sms-ed to confirm the date and time. And guess what that person actually bastard me, I'm fine with it and I just went BITCH in the text. Was laughing like f**k. Anyway I also don't care whether I hurt people or what, cause the main reason was I was the one being hurt first. That person can find anyone to come and take me down, I don't care cause most to most is I become a ghost and haunt whoever took me down and the one who ask the one to take me down (Hey but will I become a ghost when I die?).

Anyway life's been great for me so far, with my new life and achievements, and I really gotta set some standards for myself already, gonna turn 21 soon (and my organs are used for transplant after I die!), so it's like I've gotta really work hard.

Intend to join the SPF after I ORD, some jokers said "Why not be a terrorist? They'll pay you damn lots." And another adds in "Be a mercenary, it's better as you get paid damn lots as you don't come cheap." I replied "Eh you think I got so cheap arhz?" Hahaz.

Well it's another day for work and fun, still thinking which song to embed on my Blog man.

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Whew, finally having the room to breathe! Stomping out on cigarettes!

Having a damn bad cough. Coughing away like it's free!

Stayed at home most of the day except to bring my sister out of the house for lunch. Had LJS, tried the Land and Sea Combo. Was good I tell ya!

Got back home and played com all day and cough happily away. Damn.

Had dinner with dad. Kept coughing and coughing throughout the whole dinner.

Went out of the house at 12mid to get some cough medicine. Drank it and off to sleep I go. *Zzz*

Still need to go to Brunei though.

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Cough cough go away come back another day! I WANT TO GO BRUNEI AND CONQUER MOUNT BIANG!!!

OMG! I slept till 4pm!

Can't blame me, the weather is so cooling that all I do is sleep. Looks like I wasted a day of fun fun fun. Damn.

Then the most irritating thing hit me. (Refer to CHATBOX) ----->

I just replied:" Stop pretending to care for me!"

I really had it with her already! Don't even know what the hell she's trying to do. All I can say is I'm no longer a concern of her, she can just disappear or just stay away from me!

Doesn't she realize the amount of damage she have done to me? I seriously feel so irritated with her! The worse part is, she can call me and cry on the phone and say she's crying because I'm crying also. Ya I know you feel guilty but don't be so dramatic lor! Damn Drama Queen lorz. and the worse part was she can have the cheek to go and tell my sister that she still care and worry about me.

Maybe I'm the problem? Who knows? All I know is I'm coughing away and I still have to go to BRUNEI!!!

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To that someone: Please lorz! Don't act as though you got a heart!

Woke up and got changed for SPI Spooky Walk at Bukit Brown Cemetery.

Made my way down to Golden Mile Food Centre to meet up with the rest of the team. Sat down and had Dumpling noodles and Chocolate Drink. *Yum yum*

Went up to 3rd storey to get some gear, got a ultility belt with torchlight holder and a smaller pouch, got myself a D&G torch light too, oh and some Ranger Eye too.

The walk was tiring, but hey I pulled it through. This is how I looked like at the end of the walk.

Went back home around 1am plus. Off to bed already. *Zzz*

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Coughing is now on me man!

Went clubbing with NS buddies, had a fun time hitting the dance floor with all the moves I pulled off. Was doing a lot of AOE (Area Of Effect) keep stepping on other people's feet. Haha.

I found myself the need to remain single as I'm still young and still enjoy a nights out or two. I mean what the hell is wrong with clubbing? It's not like I'm there to try and get a night stand. Can't I just go there and relax myself? What the hell are girls thinking now a days?

Got home a round 5am in the morning.

Sleep. *Zzz*

Woke up at 10am just to greet the morning talk by my dad. Made a hasty preparations and dress myself up smartly to visit 7th Aunt.

Went to 7th Aunt house with granny and had my lunch there. I was eating all the CNY goodies laid out on the table. Was munching away happily so much that my tooth hurts. Need to go find a dentist soon.

Left 7th Aunt at around 4pm then sent my granny home, we told her that we'll be picking her up tomorrow cause having Yu Sheng Toast. Most of my relatives are coming. Worse thing is I can't enjoy tomorrow as I need to book in and resume my training again. Sadden to the core.

Watch TV with dad at home after we came back. Was watching Shanghai Knights with him. We all laughed at the funny stunts Jackie Chan pulled off. I can't say much but martial arts stars are still my favourite. So far my list of martial arts stars are as follows:

1) Jaa Panom (Tony Jaa)

2) Jackie Chan

3) Donnie Yen

4) Li Lian Jie (Jet Li)

5) Panna (Tony's Jaa Advisor)

6) Lee Xiao Long (Bruce Lee)

After the show, went to Yew Tee point with dad and sis to eat prata. I had Ice Cream Prata and my sis just had 2 plain prata and I was the one paying! Then met up with Antonio and went Lan Gaming. Marcus joined us there while we were playing half way.

Still got the touch for Left 4 Dead 2. Love it the most when I get the melee weapons and go hack those freaking zombies and my screen will be filled with their blood. *WICKED SICK*. Just love to do gaming most of the time. Some says it kills time while others say it's just a hobby, but for me I say "It's my life man!"

Got home around 4am. Feeling tired but still try my best to blog up a bit as I'm booking into camp tomorrow night already. Gotta cherish each book out. 1 year and 4 more months to ORD!

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Sometimes I wonder is it always my fault in the relationship that people says I'm a flirt? I mean I don't flirt anymore as I know the importance of being serious and being playful.

I've always told myself to constantly update my blog but it never happened. But as of today I'm really going to protect my blog by constantly updating it. A new year means a new beginning. It's always not late to start a fresh.

Stayed overnight at granny's house yesterday. Woke up at 10am this morning to greet the air of Chinese New Year. Had my breakfast with granny and the whole family. Then went to the Hawker Centre near granny's house there to get my dad's most needed drink of the day, COFFEE!

Changed into my new clothes. Looking good as always but still can be improved. Waited for my relatives to come. 5th aunt was the first to come then followed by 8th aunt and so on. Left granny place around 5pm plus. Came back home around 6pm plus. waited till 7.15pm and watched Shanghai Noon with dad all the way.

Dad took out his collections of old Singapore notes. It was awesome. even took some pictures of it.

Oldest Currency

And my dad is asking me to try and find if someone wants to buy these notes. Especially the 100 Dollar Note. It's one of a kind.

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It's not that I hate her or anything. It's just that i felt betrayed and yet I still love her!